Meltdown Management 101
Do you have a son who yells in agony when you mention that it is time for bed? Does your daughter go into crisis mode when you tell her she cannot get the candies at the supermarket? If this sounds all too familiar, then congratulations! You are in an exclusive club called “Every Parent Ever.” Welcome.
One of the best things to understand about little ones entering meltdown mode is that it is entirely normal. Since these children have not yet developed the needed coping behaviour to handle their emotional state, the result is sometimes a good old-fashioned tantrum. Any parents out there who are beating themselves up over their toddler’s behaviour can officially cut themselves some slack. So parents, please do yourself this favour.
Understanding that this is normal behaviour is great, but do you know what to do with them? Read on.
Stay Calm:
Tough as it may be, speaking to your child in a clear, calm and soothing tone will help them to feel safe and will, in turn, de-escalate tense situations and reduce negative emotions. Save the yelling for when you are at home and can find an appropriately sized pillow to absorb your frustration.
Use Simple Language:
Do you know that most meltdowns result from poor communication skills? So be sure to respond to your child simply without using complex words. For example, asking your child, “How can daddy help?” will be more successful than saying, “As your parental figure, I cannot rectify this situation unless you communicate what is wrong.”
Provide a Distraction:
If your child thinks the sky is falling because mommy said it is bath time, take a moment to distract them. Remind them that grandma is coming by tomorrow. Tell them about the story you look forward to reading to them later. Once their focus shifts, they will not be so likely to keep the tantrum going.
Get Low, Get Low:
Getting down to the child’s level and making eye contact is a simple but effective way to show your preschooler that they are valued and respected. This helps to build trust and strengthen the bond between the child and the adult. Making eye contact can also help children to focus and pay attention to what is being said.
Please Give Them a Choice:
Children have very little control over their lives, and rightly so. They may be well into their 30s before realising their parents knew better. Let them feel as if they have some control by providing them with a close-ended choice. Questions such as, “Would you like some strawberries or biscuits for a snack?” allow mom and dad to be the real decision makers while letting the children have a small say.
It is important to understand that every child is different. "Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression." - Dr Haim Ginott, Pediatrician and Child Psychologist.
So try some of the above tips to see what works in your home to help maintain the family peace.
